Sunday, November 30, 2008
i spend my night at juu's after her birthday celebration. (in case you are wondering, no, it's not that i'm avoiding kjbivj*. but yes, i i dunno how to face her. one may argue that IS avoiding, well, i think i just need to find some courage to face all this). we talked about various friendship/ relationship issues that we faced in our life before during meal. somehow i wish i am at least half garang as ivanny, since it is almost impossible for me to master the 'good tactic' thingy, even though with that it is portraited as tough/ not feminine (and with high possibility of being place at the losing end). oh well, i guess that's human nature for protect/ shield the look-like- weaker side.
+++
ivanny said he chooses his friends.
did i carefully choose? i mean, if i categorized you as friend (BFF or close friend or good friend or just friend), that means i trust you.
in cases like that, can i say i just had my trust and believe misplaced? will that make me feel better?
+++
i slept at 4+am last night.
i thought that i was so tired i can really sleep on and forget about all those hurting stuff (period).
alas, i woke up at 9plus. (-_-"" its kindda dumb to feel sad and unable to sleep, can someone tell my body/ mind that?)
i turned around and grab my phone and read this msg from iris on 19th oct:
十句值得深思的话：
1。 没有一百分的另一半， 只有五十分的两个人。
2。 付出真心才会得到真心， 却也可能伤得彻底，保持距离就能保护自己， 却也注定永远寂寞。
-- that's why there is this saying, distance is beautiful.
3。 通常愿意留下来跟你争吵的人，才是真正爱你的人。
-- that's why we seems to be friend (probably not to the extent to BFF, but at least it's friend), turn out it's onewide wishful thinking of mine.
-- still wana talk about true friend? go away, it's too much fake and i dunno who to believe.
4。 有时候不是对方不在乎你，而是你把对方看得太重。
-- yea, and that is dumb.
5。 冷漠，有时候并不是无情，只是一种避免被伤害的工具。
-- this is what i think would be useful to master and will try to master. since the 'good tactic' is so out of my reach.
6。 如果我们之间有1000步的距离，你只要跨出第一步，我就会你的方向走其余的999 步。
-- it feels more sad coz instead of walking towards, u walk backwards. so now there is.. 2million steps?
7。 为你难过而快乐的人是敌人， 为你快乐而快乐的人是朋友，为你难过而难过的就是那些该被放进心里的人。
-- i dont know which to categorized u.
8。 就算是believe, 中间也藏了一个lie。
-- how true. it's stupid to trust and believe. relate to No3 point #2.
9。 真正的朋友，并不是在一起就有聊不完的话题，而是在一起就算不说话也不会感到尴尬。
-- she doesnt understand this. and she will never do. she think that this happened too often and that i am still thinking about what happened last time and bear grudge against her. i thought my paranoia is kindda serious. well, hers is kind of acute as well.
-- i cry, i miss iris and ms za bo.
10。 情人就是被你看透了还能喜欢你的人。
i dozed off again after reading the msg.
+++
woke up at 10:19am
half of my mind is telling me this is nothing. i just need to learn to open my eyes wide wide (when it comes to choosing friend) and close my ear tight tight for the unnecessarily gossip/ words/ accuse etc.
another half tell me it's so hard to conquer all this.
it's not fair to tell all to juu or ivanny about them coz they know the leads in these stories and will lead to biasness.
then again i dowan to be laughed at by far-away friend like tesheng =( i can forsee he will scold me stupid, tell me to get over it, and just stay away from them.
+++
on the way home from juu's i past by summerfield.
how ironic. i guess i wasnt careful enough and really think it over who is really 'at fault' for conflict and dispute that happened last semester. who was the root of all these dispute? although i dont agree with how tbcsjob* spreading words and gossip like wild fire (which i was truly very angry at that time), now i think back, she was wrong in that sense, but then again.. she is not the root.. confused? i dunno what am i talking either. skip this paragraph please.
+++
i walked pass the UQ logo thingy at the roundabout near my home.
how ironic. i wonder how would it be during graduation. will i be wearing the fake smile? take photo for the sake of take photo, smile for the sake of smile?
i wana puke.
+++
those who declare they are not taking side, can i ask, do you really feel so?
u think u nv take side.. but did u, unintentionally do so?
i mean, not to take side is so hard. especially when u're in it, u wont even aware.
+++
did i mention i feel hungry yesternight while playing bluff? that was abt 3plus?
i should have just eat something damn.
now i dun feel like eating even if it's 1pm.
ha, dont have to go for intensive jogging session to lose weight already.
+++
she knows that i care about all this relationship/ friendship stuff to the max.
and if they are wrecked, basically my life sort of go hay wire (can i blame my lousy grade in pharmacology to the semester 1 incident with her and tbcsjob*?)
and in sem 2 i used to think all are okie thus the far better result.
i reckon that is their kind gesture to only open up what has been bottled up now after exam? else dunno how many 4 i will get again?
although it's dumb that i never learn from the one bitten twice shy saying, (in same one year by this same person-- oh, different group of people), i grow up from that.
so this is what people call life. all i can say is that it's because all the friends that i met in my primary/ secondary or even poly, all are very nice. i used to thought it is a blessing, then again, it leads me totally inexperienced in these kind of issues.
it's a blessing to have them all still.
but it is not a bless coz u landed up as a big dumb.
+++
when i choose not to talk about it to common friends, it's because i think it's not fair to the subject(s). and to talk behind him/ her without him/ her being there, people can only hear one-sided story and lead to biasness. not very fair eh? (except if u tell people that they confirm chop wont know the person(s) you are talking about and is rationale enough).
that to me, is backstabbing already. luckily the wound is not able to be seen. i dowan unsightly back =S
+++
i am emotionally weak.
i admit.
i dare to admit.
but this will be the last entry about this incident. friend or not, it doesnt matter. to quote her, it's irreversible. it's just that it's again very dumb for me to know this so late.. it's like u are doing some sort of experiment in the lab and only towards the very end then u are told that the reaction is irreversible and it wont work.
+++
i promise.
i'll be fine i'll be fine i'll be fine.
i will just need to be back to my shell.
will be fine.
+++
+++
ivanny said he chooses his friends.
did i carefully choose? i mean, if i categorized you as friend (BFF or close friend or good friend or just friend), that means i trust you.
in cases like that, can i say i just had my trust and believe misplaced? will that make me feel better?
+++
i slept at 4+am last night.
i thought that i was so tired i can really sleep on and forget about all those hurting stuff (period).
alas, i woke up at 9plus. (-_-"" its kindda dumb to feel sad and unable to sleep, can someone tell my body/ mind that?)
i turned around and grab my phone and read this msg from iris on 19th oct:
十句值得深思的话：
1。 没有一百分的另一半， 只有五十分的两个人。
2。 付出真心才会得到真心， 却也可能伤得彻底，保持距离就能保护自己， 却也注定永远寂寞。
-- that's why there is this saying, distance is beautiful.
3。 通常愿意留下来跟你争吵的人，才是真正爱你的人。
-- that's why we seems to be friend (probably not to the extent to BFF, but at least it's friend), turn out it's onewide wishful thinking of mine.
-- still wana talk about true friend? go away, it's too much fake and i dunno who to believe.
4。 有时候不是对方不在乎你，而是你把对方看得太重。
-- yea, and that is dumb.
5。 冷漠，有时候并不是无情，只是一种避免被伤害的工具。
-- this is what i think would be useful to master and will try to master. since the 'good tactic' is so out of my reach.
6。 如果我们之间有1000步的距离，你只要跨出第一步，我就会你的方向走其余的999 步。
-- it feels more sad coz instead of walking towards, u walk backwards. so now there is.. 2million steps?
7。 为你难过而快乐的人是敌人， 为你快乐而快乐的人是朋友，为你难过而难过的就是那些该被放进心里的人。
-- i dont know which to categorized u.
8。 就算是believe, 中间也藏了一个lie。
-- how true. it's stupid to trust and believe. relate to No3 point #2.
9。 真正的朋友，并不是在一起就有聊不完的话题，而是在一起就算不说话也不会感到尴尬。
-- she doesnt understand this. and she will never do. she think that this happened too often and that i am still thinking about what happened last time and bear grudge against her. i thought my paranoia is kindda serious. well, hers is kind of acute as well.
-- i cry, i miss iris and ms za bo.
10。 情人就是被你看透了还能喜欢你的人。
i dozed off again after reading the msg.
+++
woke up at 10:19am
half of my mind is telling me this is nothing. i just need to learn to open my eyes wide wide (when it comes to choosing friend) and close my ear tight tight for the unnecessarily gossip/ words/ accuse etc.
another half tell me it's so hard to conquer all this.
it's not fair to tell all to juu or ivanny about them coz they know the leads in these stories and will lead to biasness.
then again i dowan to be laughed at by far-away friend like tesheng =( i can forsee he will scold me stupid, tell me to get over it, and just stay away from them.
+++
on the way home from juu's i past by summerfield.
how ironic. i guess i wasnt careful enough and really think it over who is really 'at fault' for conflict and dispute that happened last semester. who was the root of all these dispute? although i dont agree with how tbcsjob* spreading words and gossip like wild fire (which i was truly very angry at that time), now i think back, she was wrong in that sense, but then again.. she is not the root.. confused? i dunno what am i talking either. skip this paragraph please.
+++
i walked pass the UQ logo thingy at the roundabout near my home.
how ironic. i wonder how would it be during graduation. will i be wearing the fake smile? take photo for the sake of take photo, smile for the sake of smile?
i wana puke.
+++
those who declare they are not taking side, can i ask, do you really feel so?
u think u nv take side.. but did u, unintentionally do so?
i mean, not to take side is so hard. especially when u're in it, u wont even aware.
+++
did i mention i feel hungry yesternight while playing bluff? that was abt 3plus?
i should have just eat something damn.
now i dun feel like eating even if it's 1pm.
ha, dont have to go for intensive jogging session to lose weight already.
+++
she knows that i care about all this relationship/ friendship stuff to the max.
and if they are wrecked, basically my life sort of go hay wire (can i blame my lousy grade in pharmacology to the semester 1 incident with her and tbcsjob*?)
and in sem 2 i used to think all are okie thus the far better result.
i reckon that is their kind gesture to only open up what has been bottled up now after exam? else dunno how many 4 i will get again?
although it's dumb that i never learn from the one bitten twice shy saying, (in same one year by this same person-- oh, different group of people), i grow up from that.
so this is what people call life. all i can say is that it's because all the friends that i met in my primary/ secondary or even poly, all are very nice. i used to thought it is a blessing, then again, it leads me totally inexperienced in these kind of issues.
it's a blessing to have them all still.
but it is not a bless coz u landed up as a big dumb.
+++
when i choose not to talk about it to common friends, it's because i think it's not fair to the subject(s). and to talk behind him/ her without him/ her being there, people can only hear one-sided story and lead to biasness. not very fair eh? (except if u tell people that they confirm chop wont know the person(s) you are talking about and is rationale enough).
that to me, is backstabbing already. luckily the wound is not able to be seen. i dowan unsightly back =S
+++
i am emotionally weak.
i admit.
i dare to admit.
but this will be the last entry about this incident. friend or not, it doesnt matter. to quote her, it's irreversible. it's just that it's again very dumb for me to know this so late.. it's like u are doing some sort of experiment in the lab and only towards the very end then u are told that the reaction is irreversible and it wont work.
+++
i promise.
i'll be fine i'll be fine i'll be fine.
i will just need to be back to my shell.
will be fine.
+++
Saturday, November 29, 2008
i really wana laugh off all this stupid stuff lor.
so un-nutritious.
+++
gentle and soft spoken
or
true to yourself?
the previous seems to be a good tactic!
and it IS a good tactic.
let's master that.
+++
i dunno if this is coincident or not. haih, not like i wana be so into horoscope. see this:
Your horoscope for November 26, 2008
Creative sparks fly and an old friend will accuse you of following the wrong path. If a person is not level with you today, it is an indication of how far you have grown apart, and not a reflection of your character. Stand your ground.
so un-nutritious.
+++
gentle and soft spoken
or
true to yourself?
the previous seems to be a good tactic!
and it IS a good tactic.
let's master that.
+++
i dunno if this is coincident or not. haih, not like i wana be so into horoscope. see this:
Your horoscope for November 26, 2008
Creative sparks fly and an old friend will accuse you of following the wrong path. If a person is not level with you today, it is an indication of how far you have grown apart, and not a reflection of your character. Stand your ground.
now i have done:
-photo compilation
-assignments and notes compilation
i will:
-send resume (!!!)
-visit lab pass over my samples
-get recommendation letter from Dr Neena and Dr Ralf
and i will be going to:
-visit museum
-visit art museum in UQ
-continue photo taking session in UQ
-city photo-taking
-botanical garden
-roma street park
*all must go even if have to go alone!
ALL within this 2 weeks!
yes yes! i cant wait. just like i cant wait to lay my feet in SG/JB and have roti prata!
-photo compilation
-assignments and notes compilation
i will:
-send resume (!!!)
-visit lab pass over my samples
-get recommendation letter from Dr Neena and Dr Ralf
and i will be going to:
-visit museum
-visit art museum in UQ
-continue photo taking session in UQ
-city photo-taking
-botanical garden
-roma street park
*all must go even if have to go alone!
ALL within this 2 weeks!
yes yes! i cant wait. just like i cant wait to lay my feet in SG/JB and have roti prata!
Friday, November 28, 2008
我覺得人跟人之間很多事情的出發點最重要的就是出自於信任
不管是合作或是相處，都是建立在信任之上的~
所以說當破壞了信任了，被傷害或是知情的人都一定會對這個人的誠實大打折扣
要挽回別人的信任也是很辛苦的一件事
-- taken from wanwan's 信任之塔
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
i bought a snowball from Christchurch. totally in love with it.
hope i will have chance to visit that city that country soon.
better still, during winter. =)
+++
result's out when i was still in Christchurch.
i'm totally surprise that Dr Ralf graded a 7 for my Intro to Research. i mean like, he was so strict and really demand a lot okay? (recall N times changes to my poster). anyway, i did really learn a lot in his lab - not just technical skill but soft skills as well. i truly enjoy the time during the intro to research times and i hope the feeling is mutual.
+++
i smuggled 2 huge pine seeds back to brisbane (and of coz will smuggle them back to singapore and malaysia as well).
shhh....
+++
i'm gonna be so broke after the trip.
oh please bless me with endurance and self control power over useless/unnecessary spending.
haih.
+++
been packing stuff (and room) for the past 1 hour or so and suddenly the feeling is gone.
so my room is in a TOTAL mess.
no visitor please. thank you.
+++
"you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well I'm almost finally out of words"
--- you&i both
super addictive - though this song is quite some times back.
oh, another 2 more hours i will stop playing this song. promise.
+++
hungry.
i miss roti prata (again!).
hope i will have chance to visit that city that country soon.
better still, during winter. =)
+++
result's out when i was still in Christchurch.
i'm totally surprise that Dr Ralf graded a 7 for my Intro to Research. i mean like, he was so strict and really demand a lot okay? (recall N times changes to my poster). anyway, i did really learn a lot in his lab - not just technical skill but soft skills as well. i truly enjoy the time during the intro to research times and i hope the feeling is mutual.
+++
i smuggled 2 huge pine seeds back to brisbane (and of coz will smuggle them back to singapore and malaysia as well).
shhh....
+++
i'm gonna be so broke after the trip.
oh please bless me with endurance and self control power over useless/unnecessary spending.
haih.
+++
been packing stuff (and room) for the past 1 hour or so and suddenly the feeling is gone.
so my room is in a TOTAL mess.
no visitor please. thank you.
+++
"you and I both loved what you and I spoke of
and others just read of and if you could see now
well I'm almost finally out of words"
--- you&i both
super addictive - though this song is quite some times back.
oh, another 2 more hours i will stop playing this song. promise.
+++
hungry.
i miss roti prata (again!).
coincidentally, i received this from one of my friends in taiwan who is absolutely into astrology and she did a reading based on my birth chart.
由于您有月亮与冥王星合相，因此心思细腻、敏感度高，好奇心强，喜欢探索事物的真象,并且发挥既有的想象力和创造力。但也因为如此，您有强烈的自我保护色彩，不容易轻易显露真实的欲望或情绪。您可以和人相处融洽，沟通顺畅，因为您会用其他方式来保护或隐藏内在真正的自己。只有真正熟识的朋友，才可以感受到您强烈情感与情绪化的那一面。
so, you ever see me being emotion or pms-sy? congrats! you are my real friend! LOL!
welcome to leave anytime also. hehee.
由于您有月亮与冥王星合相，因此心思细腻、敏感度高，好奇心强，喜欢探索事物的真象,并且发挥既有的想象力和创造力。但也因为如此，您有强烈的自我保护色彩，不容易轻易显露真实的欲望或情绪。您可以和人相处融洽，沟通顺畅，因为您会用其他方式来保护或隐藏内在真正的自己。只有真正熟识的朋友，才可以感受到您强烈情感与情绪化的那一面。
so, you ever see me being emotion or pms-sy? congrats! you are my real friend! LOL!
welcome to leave anytime also. hehee.
Your horoscope for November 26, 2008
Today is a good day to ground your fluctuating emotions. Take a step back from the drama and make some serious evaluations of your inner state. Are you trying to trick yourself into thinking everything is ok when really all you are doing is fooling yourself? Be honest with your highest truths and ground yourself back down into reality. Make a journal entry of your thoughts.
--------
The above is the horoscope reading for today. Indeed, the NZ trip lead me into a lot of thinking (through this trip i know a lot more about something someone) - and thus the fluctuating emotions.
This particular entry is about this friend of mine that i only got to know better in this semester, lifoh*. All i can say is that to him, my feel for him (for now) can be concluded as one word - disappointment.
I'm very well aware that he might seen this post - which i think soon i will get this blog shifted - but since it is MY blog so i will write down what i really think in the inner state. I did try to fool myself that oh-since-we-are-still-talking-everything-is-fine, but deep down i know it is not fine.
For the first few times i get to talk to him, and later get to know each other better, i always thought that he is someone truthful - not to say that he is not, but i guess our definition to being truthful is very different. For those friends that i'm really close to (you know who you are), i truly appreciate the way we hold our friendship - being truthful, and if there is dispute, speak out and we sorted them out. I think i am truly foolish enough to think that such fine balance also happen between lifoh* and i. And i just got to know like, 48 hours before that in almost all of the time that i think nothing major/ dramatic is going on, he would rather think otherwise. too many instances. too many of those tiny litte itsy-bitsy thingy that i wouldn't even know that he actually feel unhappy with until ms ubo* pointed out - i would not want to spare my time elaborating them.
And in contrary, for those events/ actions that i truly felt provoke, i will make sure he gets to know (for that is the truly feeling) and i would not really carry them with me so deeeep down (oh of course i will still talk about it some of the times - you know, those forgiven-not-forgotten trait).
I was telling ms ubo* that i would rather not to defence or explain anymore for i really see no point in doing that. if a relationship (be it friendship or bgr) started off in such a wrong way that both parties actually have different expectations in return, there is really no point. yes, probably both of us are giving up in trying to make things work better. yes, there may be no turning back. and yes, there is nothing but disappointment. there is this saying, expectations always comes with disappointment. so there it is. Some may argue i should accept people's personality. But since i got to choose my own clique, why should i choose those i find hard to understand (with possibility that i might never get to understand)? I mean, it's not that i'm not being acceptive - i accept who you are and it works both way. if not, let's just stay hi-bye.
A lot of thinking running through my head while car/ flight journey (oh well thinking alot is evil? whatever.) Whatever it is, the another side of me is telling me that all is over 'coz i would kiss brisbane goodbye in less than one month time. it started off here and it ends here. perfect eh?
Some people may think that i'm being too extreme. yes, most of the time i am. in the ideal word of mine, correct means correct, wrong means wrong. black is black and white is white. there is no grey area and i always hate grey area. yes i may be too childish in there, but i may wish to stay as this like The Little Prince. i deny the hypocrisy of adulthood.
--------
Oh back to reality, tonnes of laundry, tonnes of email, tonnes to to-do. bleh. i'm gonna be so busy for the next few days.
Today is a good day to ground your fluctuating emotions. Take a step back from the drama and make some serious evaluations of your inner state. Are you trying to trick yourself into thinking everything is ok when really all you are doing is fooling yourself? Be honest with your highest truths and ground yourself back down into reality. Make a journal entry of your thoughts.
--------
The above is the horoscope reading for today. Indeed, the NZ trip lead me into a lot of thinking (through this trip i know a lot more about something someone) - and thus the fluctuating emotions.
This particular entry is about this friend of mine that i only got to know better in this semester, lifoh*. All i can say is that to him, my feel for him (for now) can be concluded as one word - disappointment.
I'm very well aware that he might seen this post - which i think soon i will get this blog shifted - but since it is MY blog so i will write down what i really think in the inner state. I did try to fool myself that oh-since-we-are-still-talking-everything-is-fine, but deep down i know it is not fine.
For the first few times i get to talk to him, and later get to know each other better, i always thought that he is someone truthful - not to say that he is not, but i guess our definition to being truthful is very different. For those friends that i'm really close to (you know who you are), i truly appreciate the way we hold our friendship - being truthful, and if there is dispute, speak out and we sorted them out. I think i am truly foolish enough to think that such fine balance also happen between lifoh* and i. And i just got to know like, 48 hours before that in almost all of the time that i think nothing major/ dramatic is going on, he would rather think otherwise. too many instances. too many of those tiny litte itsy-bitsy thingy that i wouldn't even know that he actually feel unhappy with until ms ubo* pointed out - i would not want to spare my time elaborating them.
And in contrary, for those events/ actions that i truly felt provoke, i will make sure he gets to know (for that is the truly feeling) and i would not really carry them with me so deeeep down (oh of course i will still talk about it some of the times - you know, those forgiven-not-forgotten trait).
I was telling ms ubo* that i would rather not to defence or explain anymore for i really see no point in doing that. if a relationship (be it friendship or bgr) started off in such a wrong way that both parties actually have different expectations in return, there is really no point. yes, probably both of us are giving up in trying to make things work better. yes, there may be no turning back. and yes, there is nothing but disappointment. there is this saying, expectations always comes with disappointment. so there it is. Some may argue i should accept people's personality. But since i got to choose my own clique, why should i choose those i find hard to understand (with possibility that i might never get to understand)? I mean, it's not that i'm not being acceptive - i accept who you are and it works both way. if not, let's just stay hi-bye.
A lot of thinking running through my head while car/ flight journey (oh well thinking alot is evil? whatever.) Whatever it is, the another side of me is telling me that all is over 'coz i would kiss brisbane goodbye in less than one month time. it started off here and it ends here. perfect eh?
Some people may think that i'm being too extreme. yes, most of the time i am. in the ideal word of mine, correct means correct, wrong means wrong. black is black and white is white. there is no grey area and i always hate grey area. yes i may be too childish in there, but i may wish to stay as this like The Little Prince. i deny the hypocrisy of adulthood.
--------
Oh back to reality, tonnes of laundry, tonnes of email, tonnes to to-do. bleh. i'm gonna be so busy for the next few days.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
heck.
it's been raining since.. yesternight? wet and cold. i hate. wet especially. ha.
+++
so many things to do yet so little time =(
shall procrastinate no more.
start with photos compilation!
+++
i'll be away for Christchurch, NZ from coming wed till next tue.
hope i get to access internet!
+++
i miss.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
roti prata and teh tarik.
(what were you thinking?!)
+++
ohmygod what are they doing in the living room?!
what's with that sound?
what's with that giggles?
*imagination runs REALLY wild*
aiyo mr lifnoh* and ms hpi*, should inform me first so i can pretend i'm still sound asleep ;p
or should that be done when i was at Ju's the night before!
XD hahaa~
they are still "not sure" lar. give them privacy.
all of us (cfs*, ubo*, tfmxjo* and others) will be so happy so see them together.
cfs*! we shall bet!!
ok off to bed and continue pretend to sleep.
it's been raining since.. yesternight? wet and cold. i hate. wet especially. ha.
+++
so many things to do yet so little time =(
shall procrastinate no more.
start with photos compilation!
+++
i'll be away for Christchurch, NZ from coming wed till next tue.
hope i get to access internet!
+++
i miss.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
roti prata and teh tarik.
(what were you thinking?!)
+++
ohmygod what are they doing in the living room?!
what's with that sound?
what's with that giggles?
*imagination runs REALLY wild*
aiyo mr lifnoh* and ms hpi*, should inform me first so i can pretend i'm still sound asleep ;p
or should that be done when i was at Ju's the night before!
XD hahaa~
they are still "not sure" lar. give them privacy.
all of us (cfs*, ubo*, tfmxjo* and others) will be so happy so see them together.
cfs*! we shall bet!!
ok off to bed and continue
Monday, November 17, 2008
spend most of my day time talking to myself inwardly. yea inwardly.
spend most of my night time taking to other (not-physically in brisbane) friends/ families through phone.
so other than that, don't feel like talking/entertaining ler.
does this kind of feeling occur to you before?
to guest-
please self-entertain.
+++
was talking to ms mjodijo* just now and we discussed about this.
-innocent until proven guilty, or guilty until proven innocent- inspire by FF.
sadly (anot?), i'm now belong to the clan of guilty until proven innocent.
i guess when people grows older there comes the lack of ability to trust people. consequence of repeated hurt, betrayal etc?
that is why sometimes we need faith like a child. although it is so not possible unless you have dementia or accident involve hippocampus. ha.
+++
is it because of pluto or the weather?
now even mr optimistic ain't optimistic =/
spend most of my night time taking to other (not-physically in brisbane) friends/ families through phone.
so other than that, don't feel like talking/entertaining ler.
does this kind of feeling occur to you before?
to guest-
please self-entertain.
+++
was talking to ms mjodijo* just now and we discussed about this.
-innocent until proven guilty, or guilty until proven innocent- inspire by FF.
sadly (anot?), i'm now belong to the clan of guilty until proven innocent.
i guess when people grows older there comes the lack of ability to trust people. consequence of repeated hurt, betrayal etc?
that is why sometimes we need faith like a child. although it is so not possible unless you have dementia or accident involve hippocampus. ha.
+++
is it because of pluto or the weather?
now even mr optimistic ain't optimistic =/
Saturday, November 08, 2008
the time now is 3A.M and i cant really sleep. stress? nah. more like being furious! anyway im gonna try on the scheduled-post thingy. so i guess this will be out on tmr, 10.30A.M.
was talking to lifnoh* and cfs* on msn juz now. very very -__-" the conversation is sort of un-nutritious (as in now it's exam period). and there are some issues that lifnoh* and i have different stands. anyway, shall not elaborate much here as it's not sth happy/ nice. gzz.
on a happier note, i finally got my (new) student card! finally its because i spend almost 2 hour waiting (and walking back and fro from bld 69 -.-"). in another word almost 2 hours are gone and not study. super waste time. luckily i din ask ms hpi*or lifnoh* to go together. else waste so much time i guarantee ms hpi's face will turn green (as i said now it's almost exam time and she SURE keep thinking not enough time and time is preeeecious, shall talk abt it later). anyway back to the topic of the card, i think it jinx a little coz i have to enrol in some course (for my case, coz im not doing hons, i enrol in summer course). SUPER JINX ok?! gzz.
abt the topic of no-more-time, i think ms hpi* is sort of pissed when the devb discussion is push till tmr coz qmzo* was doing skyping with her sister back home. although when i asked her she say she 'is ok'. but according to pass experience, she is not lor! it's just that whether this time round will she tell other ppl abt how we spoilt her study plan -.-" (recall last semester to ms tbc*). that's why there are time i very hesitate to tell her those plan which is categorized as 天外一笔. and thing is, when i ask, she always say ok. and turn around being not ok. super ^#&$%^*@. (then again, its not that im okie with a lot of 天外一笔 stuff as well, it just that if i think i cant/ dont wish to go then i wont go - unless being forced! gzz.) i treasure the moment with ms ubo*, although there are times i think she is being very naggy/ noisy (=p), but we always terus-terang when there is an issue. i mean, if there is any, come and tell me straight to my face! gzz.
my supervisor emailed me and say he submitted my marks for SCIE3012. ohmygod, why was he telling me that?! like i can persuade him to change it to a better grade?! gzz.
now i feel better after these rantings (with all the lousy language and grammar) - with the risk this being see by others. who cares?! (okie, as in now, i might feel guilty and delete this tmr lol. posting up these things really pollute my blog and also make ppl hard to justify abt those ppl u are talking abt). gzz.
was talking to lifnoh* and cfs* on msn juz now. very very -__-" the conversation is sort of un-nutritious (as in now it's exam period). and there are some issues that lifnoh* and i have different stands. anyway, shall not elaborate much here as it's not sth happy/ nice. gzz.
on a happier note, i finally got my (new) student card! finally its because i spend almost 2 hour waiting (and walking back and fro from bld 69 -.-"). in another word almost 2 hours are gone and not study. super waste time. luckily i din ask ms hpi*or lifnoh* to go together. else waste so much time i guarantee ms hpi's face will turn green (as i said now it's almost exam time and she SURE keep thinking not enough time and time is preeeecious, shall talk abt it later). anyway back to the topic of the card, i think it jinx a little coz i have to enrol in some course (for my case, coz im not doing hons, i enrol in summer course). SUPER JINX ok?! gzz.
abt the topic of no-more-time, i think ms hpi* is sort of pissed when the devb discussion is push till tmr coz qmzo* was doing skyping with her sister back home. although when i asked her she say she 'is ok'. but according to pass experience, she is not lor! it's just that whether this time round will she tell other ppl abt how we spoilt her study plan -.-" (recall last semester to ms tbc*). that's why there are time i very hesitate to tell her those plan which is categorized as 天外一笔. and thing is, when i ask, she always say ok. and turn around being not ok. super ^#&$%^*@. (then again, its not that im okie with a lot of 天外一笔 stuff as well, it just that if i think i cant/ dont wish to go then i wont go - unless being forced! gzz.) i treasure the moment with ms ubo*, although there are times i think she is being very naggy/ noisy (=p), but we always terus-terang when there is an issue. i mean, if there is any, come and tell me straight to my face! gzz.
my supervisor emailed me and say he submitted my marks for SCIE3012. ohmygod, why was he telling me that?! like i can persuade him to change it to a better grade?! gzz.
now i feel better after these rantings (with all the lousy language and grammar) - with the risk this being see by others. who cares?! (okie, as in now, i might feel guilty and delete this tmr lol. posting up these things really pollute my blog and also make ppl hard to justify abt those ppl u are talking abt). gzz.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
大清早就被楼下割草机 （吸草机？）的声音吵醒，
窗外的天被一层层厚厚的云覆盖，
仿佛在预言着这是个不适生产的一天。=（
+++
昨夜的雨该把我的黄色小道给蹂躪了吧？
想象满地遍野的花瓣尸体，
我竟然难过起来。
+++
该怎么形容我和 LI先生* 的关系呢？
普通朋友？好像稍稍多过吧？
饭友？ 那该一年前吧？我现在的饭友主要是 HPI小姐*。
我们都没开口那个玩意，别人都说我们之间的关系，应该多过只是互相关心； 旁人 OH先生* 看得也都快急死了。
我们从没有正视那个问题，就像无解的是非题， 让人伤透脑筋；
就像易碎的陶瓷艺术，深怕一不小心把它捏碎，然后被其割伤。
对于感情，我很少持悲观态度，除了这次！我是怎么了？？
想到回去要面对的他&/ 问题，忽然12月10日の回家~ 也没那么令人向往了。
是城市生活让我们都怯于勇敢面对感情吗？
爱，真的需要勇气。
（*化名）
+++
这篇用华文。
华文华语比较不行的朋友！对，我绝对是故意的。
既然不能用密码封锁，我也只能使出杀手锏了-语文杀手锏。 总不能用日文吧？再说我的日语说真的也没那么强。
+++
你有吗？不曾兑现的诺言。
窗外的天被一层层厚厚的云覆盖，
仿佛在预言着这是个不适生产的一天。=（
+++
昨夜的雨该把我的黄色小道给蹂躪了吧？
想象满地遍野的花瓣尸体，
我竟然难过起来。
+++
该怎么形容我和 LI先生* 的关系呢？
普通朋友？好像稍稍多过吧？
饭友？ 那该一年前吧？我现在的饭友主要是 HPI小姐*。
我们都没开口那个玩意，别人都说我们之间的关系，应该多过只是互相关心； 旁人 OH先生* 看得也都快急死了。
我们从没有正视那个问题，就像无解的是非题， 让人伤透脑筋；
就像易碎的陶瓷艺术，深怕一不小心把它捏碎，然后被其割伤。
对于感情，我很少持悲观态度，除了这次！我是怎么了？？
想到回去要面对的他&/ 问题，忽然12月10日の回家~ 也没那么令人向往了。
是城市生活让我们都怯于勇敢面对感情吗？
爱，真的需要勇气。
（*化名）
+++
这篇用华文。
华文华语比较不行的朋友！对，我绝对是故意的。
既然不能用密码封锁，我也只能使出杀手锏了-语文杀手锏。 总不能用日文吧？再说我的日语说真的也没那么强。
+++
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